Anger is a difficult emotion to deal with. It’s powerful and influential for all the wrong reasons. Left unchecked it eventually tears you apart at the core until it’s the only emotion you know. Currently anger is trying to take me over and I’m actively working to overcome it. By no means is anger all bad, it’s a type of self expression in response to a negative or toxic person, situation, environment. It can even stem from fear and loads of other circumstances. For me this anger stems from sudden losses coupled with betrayal which I’m still coping with. Day by day it becomes easier but every so often my anger gets the best of me and it’s tiring and demoralizing.
I’ve mentioned in several posts the beauty in vulnerability, especially in today’s world of social media where so many carefully curate their image for the sake of likes and engagement. Somewhere along the line we lost the truth. We’re all human. We stumble, we fall, we lose, we make mistakes, and the list goes on. We live our humanity with its ups and downs but how many can say they remember and embrace the latter? It’s painful to embrace one’s humanity but it’s necessary for self growth as in individual in today’s world. In reality we all go through dark times whether it be sadness, anger, or something different all together it’s apart of the human experience.
Last summer my blog’s biggest theme was introspection and I won’t lie somewhere along the line I lost sight of that. Somewhere my passions were drowned out by other things and the the introspection I worked months to hone vanished without a trace. Now I work to regain this introspective perspective I once held so closely to my heart. I know to overcome these difficult times I first need to let go of control, acknowledge reality as is, and move forward. Dwelling on the past, even though it may be recent, is pointless and damaging. It’s defeating the purpose of rising above my anger, regaining my introspective ideals, and filling my heart with love instead of negative energy.
Lately I’ve come to realize how much negative energy affects the mind and body and it’s a feeling I wouldn’t want to wish upon anyone. I want to create a better version of me. I want to give people hope that change is possible, that there’s sunlight to be found on the pathway of darkness and despair, that there’s more to life than loss, pain, and hurt. Life will always be unpredictable but I want to learn how to fall in love with it again. I want to fully comprehend the balance of negative and positive and with introspection use them as tools for personal success and growth. 2019 is quickly coming to a close and my faith is wavering but I have hope that during these next few weeks my mind will go through the transformation I hope for. Of course everything isn’t instantaneous, it’s all a process, a long one, but I’m willing to walk this path towards freedom from anger.